A Disagreement of Existance
by PetuniaMoonbeam
Summary: HB/HG, Post War, slow burn if i have anything to say about it. Dramione, Rated M for future chapters
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I have come to a bit of a standstill with my other fan fic so I am uploading this one of work on in hopes that it will spark something more for Wards of the Heart. Reviews are always welcome!**

Draco watched from the end of the Slytherin table as hordes of Hogwarts students filed into the Great Hall. Pansy sat to his left and Blaise to his right. He felt safe between the familiar Slytherin trio, safe and bored. There were many returning to Hogwarts that year, Draco was just happy some of them he could still call friends. Pansy had been blabbering on and on about reinstalling pure blood courting traditions into the younger generations, an issue in which Pansy was dedicated to. Draco needed a way to shut her out luckily it seemed Professor McGonagall had read his mind.

"It is my great joy to welcome you all back to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it is my hope that this return has brought you all a great deal of comfort. I would like to ensure all that even in the light of the recent war ending, we at Hogwarts have taken specific measures of security. To all of you returning I should hope you all will join me in welcoming, comforting and aiding our incoming first years. It would do you all well to remember that it was not so long ago that many of you were once budding young scholars as well." McGonagall's face held a sliver of hope as she ended her speech and then in an instant her expression graduated from hopeful to remorseful. "Now if you would all join me in a moment of silence honoring our fallen."

Draco looked around has heads bowed. It wasn't that he wasn't remorseful however Draco found it hard to bow his head in front of people whom had directly lost loved one's due to his actions. It wasn't that he was heartless or unaware of the thoughts raging through fellow students heads just one table over it was merely an issue of pride. Draco knew he wasn't a bad person he had simply been taught bad things. By the time Draco drifted out of his own thoughts first years were filing in toward the sorting hat. Draco looked at the timid and terrified first years and then he looked to the returning magical students, sadly he saw almost no difference in the defeated faces other than age. Only one face bounded out of the crowds with strength beaming from her, the mudblood. Draco stared at her with contempt, contempt for her ability to smile at the face of adversity. He was enraged and intrigued all the while. Everything from her face to her posture screamed at him that she was stronger than him, better than him, and for that he hated her.

Draco had managed to rummage together most of his first years and lead them into the Slytherin dungeons. Most of the first years for Slytherin house, were much like himself at the age of eleven. They wore a scathing scowl on their faces, some because they knew they had lost their place in the former hierarchy of the wizarding world and others because they were naïve enough to think that the title "pure blood" meant anything at all anymore. Draco wondered if they might behold a more humbled expression by the end of the year. Draco remembered the difference between his first day and his last day of his first year. They were so dynamically different, in one years' time most of what Draco thought he knew had already come crashing down. He was not special, he was not better than those around him, he simply existed like everyone else. But for most of his years at Hogwarts he had managed to save face, he had never let most around him know that he had discovered the biggest scam in the wizarding world. Draco drifted from his own thoughts as he turned his attention back to the first years at hand, he stood before the mass of Slytherin's waiting for their silence, after a few minutes his patience wore thin. "Oi! Listen up you bloody lot! This is your common room, to the left are the boy's dormitories and to the right the girls. If you have any questions do not and I mean this in the meanest way possible, do not bring them to me." With that Draco stormed out in the search for his own dormitory. Using the directions McGonagall had given him he stumbled upon a rather old looking painting, he muttered a password at the mermaid on the canvas and stepped into the common room he was to share with the mudblood. If felt calming to refer to her as the "mudblood" in his head. For those brief moments in his head it was almost as if the war had never happened, as if he hadn't tortured innocents, as if the mark on his forearm didn't burn at that sight of her cinnamon eyes.

There she sat before him, nose deep in an obscure ancient runes textbook. Her curly head shot up at the sound of the painting slamming closed behind him. Her brown eyes pierced him and her soft voice greeted him, "Oh hello Draco."

Draco took a long look at her, her eyes were hopeful for what he thought was a reconciliation, her lips trembled slightly as the three words spilled from her mouth, her stature was upright and stiff as if she was hiding the fear she contained toward him. For the first time she didn't seem as confident and that made Draco smile internally.

His eyes darted to the table next to her, it was filled with flowers and chocolates. "What's that rubbish?" He asked as he nodded to the side table.

Hermione let out a sigh at the question as if she was relieved for the small talk, "Oh it's just the first-year girls way of thanking me for showing them the ropes I guess. Its sweet really and quite unexpected."

Draco felt his anger boil back up again, he couldn't even get a roomful of Slytherin's who used to worship him to stop blabbering for two minutes and here she was receiving a basket full of gifts.

"Did you get anything Draco? You know, from your first years?"

Draco looked right into her eyes, "Piss off." And with that he retreated to the left into his dormitory.

Hermione held her book up to her chest using it to shield her heart. Of all the things she had witnessed in the war of all the people she had lost, Draco Malfoy seemed to be the one person who could challenge her strength. He had represented everything she had fought against in the war and he held every negative view of her in his eyes. To Hermione it seemed she could do no right in the eyes of Draco Malfoy. She felt the Gryffindor in her rise and reminded herself that she didn't exist to make Draco Malfoy feel better about himself, and she didn't live to meet his standards because she was certain her own standards were much higher and the only ones that mattered.

She walked sleepily to her chambers and changed into her night gown. Her bed enveloped her and soon she felt a wave of fatigue drift over her. Only hours into her slumber she awoke to a crash and a shatter. She gathered her wand at the ready hoping that it was unnecessary but she would soon rather be prepared than feel for foolish for being magically un-armed. She crept slowly out of her doorway and walked lightly on her feet, she felt a breeze graze her bare shoulders and suddenly wished she had robed herself but it was too late for that. As she rounded the corner from the hallway to the common room she let out a sigh of relief when she saw Draco on the floor, she quickly gathered that Draco had crashed into the side table that held one of her flower vases. She must have startled Draco because his grey eyes darted at her quickly and his free hand grabbed her forearm and pulled her down on his level.

"Malfoy its only me. You can let go I'm here to help." Draco stared at her for a moment embarrassed by his rash actions, he supposed war could do that to a man. He released her arm and watched as she softly rubbed the part of her arm where his grip had been. On one arm, she bore a scar where his aunt had laid into her flesh and on the other his hand print, and yet her spirit rarely waivered.

"My apologies Granger, you startled me." He explained numbly.

"It's alright, I understand. What happened here?" She motioned toward the blood and the mess that lay scattered across the common room floor.

"Couldn't sleep, went to make a fire and uh ran into your table of goodies here."

"Do you need any help getting up?"

This to Draco was a moment of choice, he could swallow his pride and accept her help seeing as he had no way of healing his foot without his wand which at the moment was perched on his own nightstand or he could lamely crawl back to his room with blood trailing behind him.

"Can you heal?"

Hermione beamed a smile at him similar to the one that had been plastered on her face their first day of Hogwarts many years ago. "Yes actually I can. Just let me grab my bag!"

He watched as she sauntered off to her room, there was a particular bounce in her step that he hadn't been privy to before. She returned with a small bag in one hand and a potion bottle in the other.

Hermione knelt to him and looked up at him with offering eyes, "May I?"

Draco looked at her, shocked that she was asking permission to touch him still he answered her, "Yes."

Hermione knew that he had answered her but still she couldn't bring her hands to his skin. She knew she wasn't tainted with anything resembling dirty blood, she knew she was just as good as him maybe even better but it seemed as all his taunting over the years finally got to her. Everything got to her lately, she had never worked harder to remain stronger.

"Well get on with it then! Let's not wait for my foot to stain the carpet red!"

Hermione let out a laugh then she pondered his comment for a moment, "Draco the carpet is already red."

"Yes, Granger let's sit here and discuss the color of the carpet while I'm practically dying over here. Right solid plan."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, you're hardly dying."

"Granger my foot is practically dismembered."

Hermione groaned as she popped open a vial of Essence of Dittany, "Merlin's beard this is third year all over again."

"What does our third year have to do with you healing my foot?"

"Well Malfoy, if you remember our third year was when you decided to make a spectacle of yourself and nearly had poor Hagrid sacked."

Draco shook his head as he remembered, "I was so close too."

Hermione shot a grimace at Draco and patted his foot forcefully, "There all better, ya big baby."

Draco cradled his foot in his hands, "That hurt mudblood." The words came out of him like fire as the anger spread across her face faster than Draco could put it out. Before he realized what he had done a wand was pressed at his jugular and for a moment Draco saw pure rage in the eyes of something he swore to be perfectly pure.

The words came out of her like poison, smooth and quick, " Listen long and listen well Malfoy, you should do well to remember that you have been made my equal only out of the pity of the Headmistresses heart and if it hadn't been for her you would have been so far down the totem pole not even vermin would gather at your grave. I didn't take you for a fool but seeing as you have no wand and I do I guess we know where you really stand and whom the power lies with. Now do us all a favor and shut up. Next time you so much as even think about letting that word slip out of that slanderous mouth of yours remember this moment, this moment where I have the advantage and this moment where I let you go without so much as a scratch."

Draco watched as she stormed away, his foot now completely healed, his wandless self-unharmed, but sadly that little sliver of pride had all but drifted away. Draco gathered his wits about him and went to fetch his wand, he made a mental note to never anger Granger again. He wondered how Potter and Weasley had survived so many years at her side, perhaps they had survived because of her, but Draco hated to give her that much credit.

After making a fire with his wand, Draco fetched a book from the shelf and sat on the window sill and peered out onto the grounds. He wished he had another option than coming back to Hogwarts, he would have had a much better time locking himself up in the Manor and forgetting about the world. Draco knew he couldn't do that, he would get no where without finishing school, not that he needed to work, what he needed was respect. He wasn't like Potter, he wasn't just given an Auror positon for nothing, well it wasn't nothing but that still didn't stop Malfoy's contempt for potter. Draco would have given anything for a drink or even a cigar. He supposed he could slip into the Slytherin dormitories and steal some fire whiskey from Blaise but he knew castle security was at an all-time high, he wouldn't make it down the first staircase. Draco adjusted his thoughts back to his book, he shook his head as he realized that he had grabbed the same textbook that Granger had been so engrossed in. He didn't mind it much, he enjoyed ancient runes and it seemed so did Granger, then again Granger enjoyed every book. Draco let his mind become involved with the words of the pages and suddenly forgot about his row with Hermione.

Just one room over a certain Gryffindor was searching for a book to consume her mind so she could fall asleep. Remembering she had left her ancient runes book in the common room, she picked her wand up and went on a small journey to retrieve it. She had hoped that Malfoy would have been gone by now but what she saw was much worse, not only was Draco Malfoy awake but he had her book. Hermione scoffed loudly and turned on her feet and retreated into her room. It was no use, Hermione found a bottle of dreamless sleep and fell into bed. While she waited for sleep to consume her she thought, she thought about everything from Malfoy to Ron and Harry to the fact that her socks were itchy. Her mind raced and she wished desperately that Harry and Ron had come back with her, at least Ginny was with her, she was grateful for the friend she had. Hermione sighed, she had no idea what to expect for this new year, a whole year of Malfoy and no Harry and Ron. She supposed she would have to throw herself into her studies to avoid him, not that she had planned on doing anything else. Hermione soon drifted to sleep and a new year awaited her on the other side of the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello all! Thank you to anyone who read the first chapter. This second chapter is very Draco-centric. I wanted to let you all know as well that the remaining chapters have all been outline. I will update as soon as I can, but please keep in mind that I am a 25 year old woman with a job and a house and a husband lol so ill update in the most timely manner possible. Thank you for reading, enjoy! Also scene breaks will be administered by multiple letter G's in a row.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights, characters, and stories belong to J.K Rowling.**

There was a silence in the morning, a silence Draco Malfoy longed for every day before the world came into its own. A moment of purity, where nothing happened and nothing mattered. Every day since he was fourteen Draco would wake earlier than needed just to lay in silence. He supposed to some this could be construed as a form of meditation but to Draco it was just one of the few moments in his life where he didn't have to care. There was no one to impress, he just didn't have to try, he just simply had to exist. He was sure this was very un-Slytherin like of him, but it didn't bother him, mostly because Draco Malfoy knew that life outside of Hogwarts existed, hopefully containing a world that would not limit him, his character or his ability to his school house. Draco continued to lay on his back looking at the patterns in the stone ceiling, rays of light came dancing through the stain glass window, streams of gold and green glimmered through the window, they were concise and patterned like the way keys on a piano chimed. Everything was meant to be, exactly how Draco liked it, everything and everyone had a place and a part to play, he didn't question much of anything, this accounted for most of his personality traits. When his father told him, he was going to be in Slytherin and that a Slytherin would do anything to succeed, Draco took this for truth, Draco took this as his part to play. Much of his Slytherin tendencies became habitual personality traits, despite his efforts to grow as a person, they seemed to be carved into him like etchings along his heartstrings.

The time came for Draco to say goodbye to his morning thoughts and for the day to begin. He had no idea whether Granger was a morning person, he assumed though, that she had to be. No one that constructive with their time could be anything but. Draco had showered the night before so as to give him more time in the morning to relax as only Draco knew how. Draco had an old mechanical record player, this was the only was he could find to listen to music within Hogwarts. When he lived in the Slytherin dorms, his housemates detested his morning music but he lived alone now, or about as close as he was going to get to "alone". Draco used his wand for his hair, piled his uniform on gracefully, allowing his fingers to play over the buttons of his white shirt as the music around him served as a rhythm for his motions. Once dressed, Draco snapped his fingers and a small elf appeared in front of him.

Draco finished looping his tie through as he spoke to the elf, "What's your name elf?"

"Slippy, sir. How may I be helping you?" The elf bowed toward Draco, his head hung low as he waited patiently for further instructions.

"Slippy, I'll be having my tea on the balcony this morning, Earl Grey if you don't mind, and some morning pastries. Will that distract from your duties?"

"No sir, Slippy can manage just fine. I will be back shortly." The little elf left and within a few minutes Draco found himself having tea on the balcony with the London Symphony Orchestra playing in the background. Draco took this moment to look over the scenery before him, the Scottish wind blew at his hair and the smell of pine and mountain air came at him. He supposed this made him very un-Slytherin like as well because in his mind these were the moments worth living for. The quiet ones.

gggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Hermione Granger woke with a fright, before her bed stood a tiny elf, trembling and smiling all at the same time.

"Good morning, miss. Slippy is sorry to scare you, but Slippy is wondering if missus will be taking her breakfast on the balcony as well?"

"As well?" Hermione questioned the little elf.

"Yes miss, Master Malfoy is having his morning tea on the balcony and Slippy thought that the missus might like to join." Slippy bowed a bit before looking back up at Hermione.

Hermione thought about a nice morning on the balcony with a book, even with Malfoy there it had to be a good way to start the new year. No matter how vile, he couldn't manage to ruin morning tea, surely.

"Yes, I think that would be nice, have you already made the tea?"

"Yes miss, Earl Gray for the master."

How convenient Hermione thought, they both had the same favorite tea, "Yes that would be perfect. Oh, and Slippy please call me Hermione."

"Yes, miss Hermione, Slippy will be back."

gggggggggggggggggggg

On the balcony Draco watched as an extra setting of tea and pastries appeared on the table at the opposite end of the balcony. Draco was surprised but not annoyed. He didn't own the balcony and any true blooded English woman wouldn't turn down tea on a morning like this.

She came out wearing a pair of red plaid pajama pants, a white tee, and a beige cardigan. Her feet were bare, her hair pulled back messily but romantically.

She sat down, laid her book on the table, and picked up a cup and cradled it warmly. He watched her as she breathed in the scent from the cup. He nodded in approval, even if she was high strung, it seemed she knew how to enjoy a moment.

They ignored each other for the first ten minutes, Hermione even enjoyed the music coming from his room, she sipped her tea with a purpose, attempting to enjoy it but reminding herself that she was sharing a balcony with a man that she had all but threatened the night before. Hermione thumbed through her book, letting her fingers trail down the page as she read line for line. Suddenly Draco got up, retreating into his room for what she did not know. Hermione chose this moment to enjoy the height of their tower. She inched her way to the edge of the balcony and looked down. Hermione Granger did not enjoy flying for leisure, though she had been known of course to fly during those moments where her life depended on it. She looked out into the vast open sky, the world truly was an amazing place, she felt grateful to have the ability to be standing at all. So much of the last year of her life had been in pure turmoil, she was happy to have such a blissful moment at Hogwarts. She had hated to much watching it come crumbling down during the battle. This was her home away from home, how she would hate to leave it when the time came.

A voice spooked her away from her thoughts, "Careful, Granger, would be a terrible thing for our Head Girl to go tumbling down."

Hermione rolled her eyes, still facing away from him, "If I didn't know any better, I would say that sounds like a threat, Malfoy."

"Well they don't call you the brightest witch of our age for nothing now do they. Besides I'm just repaying the favor." Draco was now standing next to her leaning on the edge matching her stare into the vast Scottish wilderness.

"Now Malfoy, that sounds like a compliment. Besides you had it coming last night."

"Don't flatter yourself Granger, facts are facts, nothing more."

Draco began to walk away from her when her voice stopped him, "Have you ever actually seen the London Symphony Malfoy, you know in person?"

Draco played the moment back in his mind, to that quiet night just a few months ago, the night his father was sentenced to life in Azkaban. He had been walking along muggle London, in the pouring rain when he had come to a glittering sign advertising the London Symphony Orchestra. He saw immediately that they were playing at that very moment. Draco had taken one quick glance, seeing that no one was close enough to him to notice the wand coming from his cloak pocket, casting a disillusionment charm on himself, he was rendered just invisible enough to slip past the usher into an empty box.

He left his small memory and pointed his eyes at her, "What's it matter to you Granger?"

Her brows furrowed and she thought for a quick moment and then spoke, "Well that would mean that Draco Malfoy enjoyed something Muggle created, if I was a prying mind I might assume you aren't as bad as you want people to believe."

"Granger that scar on your arm, was carved into you while I sat there indifferent to your screams, survival is my only aim in life, make no mistake Granger, I'm as wicked as they come."

"That doesn't mean your wicked. It just means you were taught…"

Draco cut her off before she could finish, "Granger I'm not yours to save, I wouldn't want to break your heart when you realize I really am as cruel hearted as you have been taught to believe by your precious Potter."

Hermione scoffed and let out a small laugh, "Oh you do think yourself a tragedy don't you Malfoy? Your story isn't that interesting. We've all played our parts, haven't we? Let's say for logical purposes that you're not as damned as you think because I'm sure as hell not as pure as I once felt. The war is over Malfoy and so are our parts, it's time for a new act."

She left him like that, standing alone on a balcony with nothing but the feeling of his once calm morning drifting away like the ever-moving hands on a clock. Oh, how he needed a drink. With ten minutes to spare before needing to leave for his morning classes, Draco sent a letter away to his mother who was on house arrest. He asked for something to take the edge of the new year and made sure to bid his mother well before sending the letter off with his owl, Apollo. Draco could only hope by night that he would have something indulgent in his hands. If he received nothing, he pondered at the idea of going for a night time flight over the black lake.

Draco thought of Granger's bold words on his way to his first class. She was a wild one, a Gryffindor true to the heart, he could not fault her for being so honest, so why then did he let himself fault her for something as ridiculous as blood status? Sometimes Draco knew himself so well and other times he saw a stranger. If living with Granger was going to mean an entire year of someone questioning his very way of existence he wasn't sure how he would hold up. Draco walked into double potions, and nodded at his head of house, Professor Slughorn.

"Ahh, Draco, my boy, glad I found you!" Professor Slughorn said proudly.

"Well this is your class Sluggy and I am on the roster, but good on you for "finding" me." Draco was still cross with Professor Slughorn after not being admitted into the slug club back in 6th year.

Professor Slughorn looked him wearily, "Yes well, be that as it may, I am supposed to let you know that you'll be taking the position as captain of the house team, for quidditch that is."

"Oh, brilliant. Alright, thanks for letting me know."

"So you do want the position, even with your Head Boy duties?" Slughorn looked at him as he questioned whether he was up to task.

"Of course I want the position, I'm a Malfoy for Merlin's sake." Draco shook his head at the old buffoon and stopped as he heard a suppressed giggle. He looked around and saw Granger laughing heartedly at his exchange with the potions professor.

 _Gods she really has no off button. Best sit far away from her._

Draco sat in the back at a potions table, taking this time to start brewing a dreamless sleep potion. Old Sluggy never seemed to mind and he could use the goodnights rest. Draco began to notice that class should have started near ten minutes ago and that Slughorn was nowhere to be found.

It was then that the door to potions opened and strolling in behind Slughorn were two gangly young men with unruly hair. One had black, untidy hair with a noticeable scar on his forehead. And the other the brightest head of red hair ever. Draco groaned internally, he had hoped for a quiet year at Hogwarts.

"Class I am so pleased to announce that Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley will be joining us last minute for the school year! Boys if you don't mind taking your seats, we are very late indeed. I believe there is a seat in the back with Mr. Malfoy."

Strolling to the back of the room, they sat with a thud. Draco looked up momentarily and nodded.

"What's the matter Malfoy? Snake got your tongue?" Ron asked sharply.

"Just concentrating, unlike you two halfwits, I actually plan on passing this class."

"Your out of order Malfoy." Harry stated.

"Hardly, Potter. Weaslebee started it."

A calm voice spoke in an effort to cut the tension, "Harry, Ron play nicely. Malfoy's head boy, you could get Gryffindor into trouble."

"Who went and made him head boy!? That should be Harry or me! I was a bloody prefect!"

"Ronald! You and Harry weren't here for the start of the year, and Malfoy's marks were in order for the head position. Besides what are two doing back here anyway? Not that I'm not thrilled to see you both."

"The wizengamot vetoed Kingsley's ability to give us Auror positions without having finished school." Harry stated.

"Well I think it's brilliant, you boys could both do with some extra studying. Anyway, Slughorn says we are to pick partners, so I'll be with Malfoy."

"No way Hermione, we aren't letting you partner with him!" Ron bellowed.

"I don't recall her asking your permission, Weasley." Draco said without looking up from his cauldron as he sprinkled some lavender sprigs into the bubbling liquid.

"Thank you, Malfoy. Besides I'm not letting either of you two partner with him, Merlin knows what'll happen. We're to pick one potion from the first chapter to brew. Our choice, isn't that exciting!"

"Hermione, I know we've never really seen eye to eye on the subject of "fun" but I hardly think brewing potions with Malfoy constitutes a good time."

"Well it's all a matter of opinion, Ronald." Hermione stated with a small smile.

"I hate when she calls me Ronald." Ron whispered to Harry as he opened his book.

Hermione turned to Draco and watched as he stirred his cauldron counter clock wise and added the Valerian root to his potion.

"Granger would you mind fetching me some Wormwood please, I seem to have forgotten it."

"Are you brewing a dreamless sleep potion for yourself?"

"Granger, the wormwood, please."

"Right, sorry."

Hermione grabbed the Wormwood and brought it to the table and instantly began crushing it for the potion.

"Thanks. Technically this potion is from chapter one and you are aiding me in brewing it, so this should suffice for the day, seeing as we only 20 or so minutes left."

"How fortunate." Hermione stated sadly, a little down that she didn't get to do more work. She thought of arguing that this was slightly cheating but Draco was right, they really didn't have time to brew another potion.

Once the potion was ready to simmer Draco took out his notebook and began writing and Hermione took this time to read ahead for her next class, which she was sure she also had with Malfoy.

"Ron, I don't think you add the flobberworm yet." Harry said wearily.

"It'll be fine, besides it's Slughorn he loves you. You could burn a whole though the floor and he'd praise you."

"Maybe but it's better not to risk it." Harry took over the rest of the potion while Ron started making paper snitches with his wand.

Draco and Hermione received top marks for their potion, while Harry and Ron received an Acceptable. Ron and Harry took this as a successful potions class while Hermione lectured them on the uses of potions in the real world as they left class together.

Draco watched the golden trio walk out together. He was certain that he and Granger had most of their classes together and he wondered for a moment what career she was hoping to get into. Not that he had any intention of asking her. Draco sighed as he began to regret coming back this year at all. With Potter and Weasley back it was sure to be an eventful year, especially since their "hero" status had only gone up within the year. Still Draco was grateful that the three had been there to save the day. He wasn't sure where he would have been had it not been for the defeat of Voldemort. He was happy that he didn't have to find out. He supposed he owed a thank you to them at the very least. Maybe once the two stopped being prats he would come around to express his gratitude, but not today, certainly not today.


End file.
